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November 17, 2004

Pole dancing for kids

The bad idea of the day goes to the nims (my new word, short of "nimrods", you could alternatively say "rods") who thought that teaching pole dancing to kids was a good idea, specifically Sarah Davis. Was she going to teach the whole routine? would it have been broken up into beginner, intermediate and advanced? Here's some seminars for 12 year-olds that wuld increase physical fitness, raise their self-esteem and prepare them for the harsh realities of the world:

  1. Bumping: Bunny the Bunny shows you the basics of the bumps. Great for all ages.
  2. Grinding: Continuation of lesson 1. Includes shimmying and shaking.
  3. Pole work 1: This is a more cerebral course. Includes how to think of long thick objects in a phallic sense, and what your role is with respect to them.
  4. Pole work 2: Bunny shows off some of her favourite moves and teaches you , too. Taught in conjunction with Puberty Polly, depending on average class age.
  5. Take your dancer to work day: Participating bars open up their doors to let your kids in to see what the environment is really like. Fun-filled adventure with Bunny and Polly. 1 drink included.
  6. How to maximize your yields: Hosted by Mo the Pimp. He teaches you how to get mo' money with each wiggle.

A graduation ceremony with certificates happens at the end of every session.

Posted by JonasParker at November 17, 2004 12:56 PM

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