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January 13, 2006

Buying into sexy

Last month, CBC had a special segment about the sexing up of very young girls. You can read it and hear the audio here. Having a six-year old stepdaughter and a six-year-old niece, I can appreciate the concerns that some parents have regarding the influences shaping young girls today. The article highlights several interesting things facing the lives of young girls, although I won't claim that these things are necessarily new. Some salient points (actually, I just felt like saying "salient"):

• The first thing to notice is that since tweens (people aged 8-14, and that's the last time I will ever use that stupid term) have money, and that companies are using sex and sex appeal to get that money. Why do kids that young have so much money? They aren't working, so I guess that parents are just giving it to them. But why? Aren't parents supposed to be buying things for kids rather than have them buy things themselves? Well, naturally there is the nag/guilt factor. Which means that the parents' money now belongs to the child. It bothers me that a nine-year-old is determining where money goes to that extent.

  Also, teenagers have jobs, where before they tended not to. Parents give money away as though they are paying off something they owe to their children. It's like they pay them off to avoid parental responsibilities. This free money is being given to younger and younger kids.

• Industries are using imagery to get girls to want to have what they see on TV. A sexed-up image is largely in the eye of the beholder, however, it's pretty unmistakeable when 12-year-olds are shown images of how to be consisting of wearing revealing clothing and having a sexy attitude.

  I was shocked to hear that about three years ago a local discount clothing store, L'Aubainerie, was selling thongs for seven year olds. Am I wrong for assuming that thongs are for accentuating one's ass and avoiding pantylines? If that is true, why is this important to a seven-year-old? Who's making it important?

• Sex bracelets? What the fuck are those? Has anyone ever encountered one? Does anyone reading this have a relative of friend's kid that has or wants one? Or even knows what they are? Granted, many of those sexual games elementary boys and girls are playing with each other now also happened when I was growing up. You just had to be in the "circle". I just don't remember bracelets.

• It's very clear that companies are trying to push adult material onto the younger set. They even have a name for it: age compression. I have a name for it: corruption. (However, in the end it may not be any different from the fostering of any other type of consumerism.) Since they are definitely trying to get kids to think like adults even if they aren't necessarily capable of it, this brings to question whether or not these products are actually age appropriate. Seems to me that by definition, they aren't. I mean, age compression? If that's the case, why are these companies even allowed to sell this stuff to kids? Can't sell porn or booze to kids, because they aren't age appropriate.

• Many mothers are quite desperate for their daughters to be accepted, whatever the cost. Apparently, for girls, being excluded for any reason is the worst thing you can do to them short of sexual abuse (and I am positive that there are some who, given a choice at the time, would choose the abuse). They acutely feel what at stake: to be part of the gang. This allows women who would normally step in and sensibly restrict certain purchases and behaviour to allow them, sometimes grudgingly, sometimes enthusiastically.

• Many fathers are quite desperate for their daughters to be kid-like when they are kids. However, it seems as though they are being shouted down by the daughters, the mothers, the stores, the media, pretty much everyone. They don't feel as though they have the power to actually intervene in what many of them clearly believe is irresponsible behaviour.

• If kids aren't allowed to see images like the one on the right on web sites or in many other kinds of media, why are they allowed to see them on Much Music? Most kids trust that what they are allowed to see is entirely fine, and that parents that try to say otherwise are being too rigid and so on. I remember feeling that way like it was yesterday. It was impossible for me to understand, then, and I don't know what anyone could have said for me to understand. But if someone (parents and teachers, perhaps) would teach kids that the images that they see in the media aren't necessarily good ones, that would go a long way. (Unfortunately groups that tend to encourage media responsibility like to restrict everyone's activities to fit what THEY are comfortable with as adults. I am conflicted.)

• Companies encourage and thrive on children manipulating their parents. So much so that they have developed a science to study the nag factor, or pester power. I am sure that there are clear and precise math formulae out there for it. Works in relationships, too, but I doubt that there's as much money in it.

• Young girls don't even think about sex when they want to be sexy, so it's fine. This is bullshit. If that's false, then it may be something you want to discuss and monitor. If it's true, they will still be getting sexual attention, which means that they will have to manage that attention. I can't see many 13-year-old girls managing it well. Just because a girl can program the cell phone you didn't have when you were 13, or even know and care that there are problems in countries outside North America, doesn't mean they she can take an adult decision regarding sexual attention. It's not enough to assume that sex isn't on her mind. It likely is. (PDF)

Parents are up against a lot of competition these days. Glad I'm not one full-time. I wonder what real problems boys face, rather than the made-up ones. That will be for another post.