A World of Cheese, For your Pleasure

Teledildonics or Remote sex toy fucking

This could be the greatest invention in the history of sex toy technology. The Sinulator allows one person in A-ville to control the sex toys of someone else in B-town. Sound fucked? Gina Lynn of Wired (not the pornstar) reviews it here. Gina says:

A man can be thrusting in Cleveland while a woman is penetrated in Seattle, and the cybersex experience gets one step closer to the holodeck.

Imagine. You never have to worry about infidelity when your partner is away for an extended period of time, because you can still have sex with them! I like the thought of having sex with Rose while I am here and she is buzzing away at the library. I like that alot, actually. Fits in with my public places fantasies, but, well, TMI.

Bigger tits from better ring tones: only from Japan of course

1. What better way to start new posts than to talk about those crazy Japanese? From the famous deprogrammer of the Aum Shinrikyo cult (the ones than poisoned a bunch of people on the subway system a while back) comes—wait for it—a ringtone that will make your tits grow! A 19-year-old says:

   "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model, tells Shukan Gendai. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!"

   Couldn't that have happened by eating too much McDonald's-san? Or from it being that time of the month?

   The creator says that the ringtones provoke movement in the part of the brain that responds to sound and light. I've heard of the Mozart effect, but this is ridiculous. Of course, if this guy is correct, then imagine what kinds of subliminal shit they are already doing to us.

2. Someone is going around taking pictures of people having sex in their cars. I suppose the person is relatively safe from pissed off and shocked people. They're in a car and half naked. Weirdos.
3. This one, though, takes the cake, and she's not even Japanese. An Aussie woman had her husbands ashes sewn into her breasts. Said she's would never be apart from him this way. I'm not sure which is weirder; this or eating part of his remains. Somehow nibbling on your partner's ear (heh) is more, uh, palatable, than sewing their ashes inside your body. I wonder if they were packed into some kind of implant and now she has noticeably bigger tits. Maybe she should have just gotten his picture of her cell phone and downloaded the tit-expanding ring tone. That way she could honour her dead partner and attract a new one at the same time. Fucking weirdo.

We're back!

I was finally able to switch hosts and reconfigure all three blogs. It was a pain in the ass, but at least now I know how NOT to do it. It's good to be back.

Unfortunately, because I switched databases, I lost the notification lists. :/ So please, sign up again to be notified. The one-line form is on the side. I've already signed up a few of you. The same goes for here and here.

UPDATE: The blogs are now available at http://blog.cheeseorgy.net, http://jonasparker.cheeseorgy.net and http://misstress.cheeseorgy.net.

Still not quite there

But I'll hopefully have everything up and running in the next two days.

Site down

As we are about to change web hosting providers, cheeseorgy.net may be down for as much as a few days. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Commercials of the 80s

This one's for Mikey, although I can't say why exactly. A classic case of, "But it made so much sense at the time!".

Inspired because I couldn't remember which product they were pushing with the "Anicent Chinese Secret" commercials.

Let them have health care

Miro Cernetig of the Toronto Star went to Montreal recently to have some kind of check up on his ballooning cheeks (I still don't know what that was about). He writes about it here. For the Americans reading this, it may seem trivial, but for us and our medical system, a source of Canadian pride for better or for worse, there seems to be a bit of a conflict.

Mr. Cernetig went to a clinic in Westmount, a rich part of Montreal, complaining of something or other. Normally, a person would go to a clinic and wait for at least an hour, often 2 or 3, before someone could come see them for five minutes. (There are horror stories of the dying being left in a hallway for 9 hours.) As bad as that sounds, Canadians are generally guaranteed whatever help they need, even though it might take months to get treatment, or weeks to see a specialist. The philosophy is that basic and even not-so-basic health care is a fundamental right for everyone. No one should be turned away because they can't pay, which is what happens every day in the U.S. (I've heard horror stories from staff about that, too.)

So Mr. C. goes into a clinic in Westmount, pays $38 for a blood test and is offered programs ranging from $350 to almost $1000 for different programs offering different coverage and even a VIP room. I expect all my VIP rooms to come with dancing girls, in this case, dressed like naughty nurse whores that my old boss has always been into. (I always get a kick out of that. He has been dating a nurse for the past two years, and I always wonder how naughty she is. But I digress.)

The problem is whether or not this violates the spirit of the health care system in this country. I generally support having these private clinics around. The very rich and even the middling rich have always paid for private health care one way or another, and there are always good doctors that respond to the dollar and clients that appreciate you and aren't crazy versus chaos and crapallday. And it might very well be worth it to me to pay to get the extras. At a time when the provinces think that the few billion over the next few years from the federal government is not enough to maintain the system let alone improve it, perhaps this is exactly what the system needs: relief from people willing to pay for things on their own, and a lowering of the numbers of people using the system.

On the other hand, how many rich or middling-rich people actually do pay their own way compared to the millions that still use the public system? Does it make that much of a difference? I don't know. I don't have any numbers with me. Also, although private clinics don't violate the wording of Health Care Act (I made that up, actually, I don't know what it is called), it may violate the spirit of the Act by creating and allowing, sometimes even promoting a two- or three-tier system, when the spirit implies that we should all have quality health care. Maybe we do, but those with money get a higher-quality system. It's all relative, I guess. If I broke my leg in Egypt, I could pay about $40 and get treated like a king. In an out in an hour.

In the end, I suppose I would have to support the private clinics (in spirit, of course) as long as the public system remains intact. It will be interesting to see what the provinces and the feds settle on.

(Aside: Does anyone know how I can prevent the picture on the guy above from being attached directly to the paragraphs? I'd like to have some spacing there.)

Naked female soldier posing naughtily

It seems that a soldier in Iraq may have been posing for a boyfriend, girlfriend or husband back home and forgot to empty the recycle bin on the shared computer she was using. Are we becoming more and more exhibitionist these days? These pictures are not safe for work.

It seems that everyone has a sex video now. Amateur porn is still steadily increasing in a manner that seems to suggest that it is no longer just a fad. People are trying to come up with new and innovative ways to make whoopee in public and share their experiences with like-minded others (which, in my opinion, is the purest form of porn). I wish I had more to say on this, but it's early in the morning and I didn't sleep well.

I find this funny that I am posting this on September 11. No three-year retrospective, no solemn remembrance, just amateur porn.

Killing in the name of...

Speaking of sickening, but several orders of magnitude worse, is the following story of Chechen/Russian conflict, in particular the recent school bombing. There are so many things wrong here aside from the senseless killing.

326 dead, and over 700 injured. This article discusses what happens when a terrorist group is in the hands of someone who truly places no value on the value of a life other than his own. More on that later. It seems as though the leader of the group responsible for the killing detonated the waist bombs of two women who disagreed with taking children as hostages. Earlier, someone else expressed resevations about taking the school. That man was shot on the spot. I've seen this type of thing in movies and TV, and I guess it happens in real life as well. But Jesus. Killing your own people? Killing CHILDREN?

Again, the leader has zero regard for anything. He seems to enjoy killing, and the revolution is probably just a cover for his homicidal ways. But there are no far-reaching policies that are truly made for the good of humanity. Some are made specifically to cause misery to people, or to bring profit to a few and any cost. Thousands die, although it is often over time. Are these people all that different? Are we all that different for that matter? How many of us would choose an action that would make us filthy rich if it meant the lives of hundreds of people in some far away land over, say, five years? I think that a great many of us would choose that, more than we like to think.

Sri Lankan Gangster gets to stay

That was the actual headline at the National Post Wednesday of last week. A man was caught with a sawed-off shotgun and an AK-47 (if anyone ever tells me that these things are used for anything other than wholesale slaughter, I will have to slap them). He is not a Canadian citizen, but the refugee judge decided that his family would suffer is he were sent home. It is known that he has been convicted of a serious crime and is a member of a group known for various serious crimes, including murder, extortion, assault and drug trafficking (emphasis obviously mine).

But he was an ingenious man. He fathered a son in Canada. He takes him and the mother to the mall sometimes. Great guy.

This wasn't a recent conviction; this happened back in 1996. He served 18 months on weapons charges and has been clean, they think, since. He has a steady job. Here's where I have a problem. The cops clearly believe that he was on his way to commit murder, so why wasn't he charged with attempted murder? It is known that you can be charged with intent to traffic drugs if you have more than a certain amount of drugs on you. You can be charged with intent to traffic drugs even if there are no drugs in existence. On the other hand, you can't be charged with possession of child porn if the children don't exist, or you can't prove that they exist, or were harmed.

My older brother, not the one that was recently sentenced for trafficking drugs that don't exist, but the one that was sentenced two years ago with trafficking drugs that do exist, is not a Canadian citizen. He simply never bothered to do it, and I don't know why, although I suspect it has to do with the same sickening arrogance that he has had his entire life. He is going to be released later this fall on parole, but then they are going to start proceedings to get him out of the country for good, I imagine. (With the exception of the occasional hurricane, I suppose you could do worse than to be forced to go there.) Unless he quickly starts up a second family, he won't have any compelling reason to keep him here. But it kills me that would-be and actual murderers get to stay while small-time drug smugglers get thrown out of the country. No race card here, obviously, but aren't our priorities a little out of sync with reality? Or am I simply a crackpot?

Thinking of my brothers always makes me think of these people.

Jeopardy guy LOSES!

I don't know why this is exciting to me, but I LOVE IT! Ken Jennings, the guy who can' lose on Jeopardy, lost in his 75th appearance.

Klein tosses it

So THAT'S what they mean by "tossing salad". This ad is on par with, or even more explicit, than some of the advertising you see here in Montreal.

Next-gen blogging

Information storage has increased a huge amount in the last ten years, but a new invention, MRAM, or magnetic random access memory, could blow the lid off of storage capacities, as well as blogging.

A personal life recorder, or PLR, could be a small device that you could attach to your clothing, or wear like a pin or necklace (similar to today's cell phones or music players). It records images and sounds around you, using up very little power and having th capacity to store huge amounts of data. Moblogging today essentially deal with blogging with cell phone cameras. Imagine what a blogger could do with a PLR. The 2009 Liberal Leadership convention from an insider? Or the DNC in 2012? Or the sex blog of a highly exhibitionist couple? By then, web packages will be talking about multiple gigs of storage, rather than megs, and hopefully Internet-2, or whatever they will be calling it, will be accessible to all.

Imagine a MRAM laptop that boots up in 3 seconds instead of 10 minutes? A cell phone on which you can watch DVDs (with a screen adapter, I imagine)? Incontrovertible proof that X did Y? You could never get away with anything, then. At least, not until someone figured out how to get around this with cloaking technology.

I guess those intelluectual property people would be all up in arms over this.

Canadian Sex Tourism Laws

For once, I am in complete agreement with someone at Polspy.

Nancy Fielding wrote a short entry about 40-year-old Donald Bakker being convicted of international sex tourism, among other domestic crimes. He faces 12 counts of sex crimes against women in the Vancouver area, as well as 16 other charges of sex crimes against children in another country. Read about it here.

This law states that we can prosecute Canadians for sex crimes committed abroad. Theoretically it sounds like a wonderful idea, but it concerns me. This violates international law, and this is not to be taken lightly. We complain about other countries' abuse of international law, exploiting people in other countries. And while it is not exactly the thing that Canadians say they hate Americans doing (meddling in the affairs of other countries), it is awfully close.

This law also seems not very well put together, like that law that led to the acquittal of child abuser and pornographer John Robin Sharpe. I fear that someone will exploit weaknesses in the law to erode, rather than strengthen how and when we can police crimes of this nature in this country.

This is not a precedent we want to start, or rather, not one we want to continue.

Unionized prostitutes

I can't exactly say how I feel about Wayne Lucas call to unionize prostitution in Canada, given how I feel about them in my backyard (NIMBY syndrome, I fully admit).

First of all, I am not clear on the laws surrounding this. I understand that you can ask for sex, and you can ask for money, but you can't ask for sex explicitly in exchange for money (or goods, I imagine) so you have to word the transaction carefully. Anal is extra. But(t) how can you unionize something illegal?

Legalities aside, what would a unionized sex trade be like? Would there be professional associations of pimps, trannies, call girls and fetishists? Would they get government representation? Imagine how the profession could look. I can't. I like to think it would get really mainstream, and look fashionable, at least. Acceptable. But it wouldn't likely happen that way. Nothing would likely change in terms of outward appearance. And who would they fight? The management? Who's management? The government that wants them regulated? The public? (Funny how I separated those that are supposed to represent the public from the actual public.)

Too many questions. I think I like the idea of prostitutes rather than the reality, though.

Sickening destruction of people

I am terribly upset and angered by this photo, but I am with the rest of the commenters on that page in that I am glad they ran the photo, even on the front page. Once again, I feel lucky that this is not a reality I live with. The fact that this is a little girl and not some adult male may have something to do with my increased anger, which bothers me, but that's another discussion.

I'd like to hear comments from anyone living in that part of the world, although I suspect it might be considered just another day at the office. What do the papers usually run?

RNC Panty Flash

Was the Democratic National Convention this exciting? The Axis of Eve decided to protest the Republicans by flashing AOE swag. I imagine that there were at least as many guys filming them as there were participants. The swag is made from American Apparel, which I am coming to like very much these days.

Plagiarized

Think your blog is so brilliant in its uniqueness that others cannot help but avail themselves of the ever-so-handy cut and paste option?

Find out with Copyscape.

What are your thoughts on protecting web-content?

I couldn't care less if someone wants to take paragraphs of my own inane rambling. As I've previously stated here.