A World of Cheese, For your Pleasure

Bloggy New Year

The blog is now one of the best reasons to be on the Internet, or the worst, if you are one of those people who got fired or dumped over it. In terms of communications value, the blog seems to be heaed towards the democratization of thought and expression more than any other medium thus far. Apparently a blog is created every 5.8 seconds.

Cheeseorgy, the site, was founded in March or April of this year, but I have been blogging since 2001 on Diaryland (which I definitely grew out of). I have learned many things about blogging since then, some, the hard way, some just by reading other blogs. One of the things I am most interested in is bringing blogging to education and business in a more mainstream fashion. That may be happening right here in Quebec (French entry only, use Babelfish to translate if you have to). I will have to perfect my French and try to get involved somehow; it sounds incredibly interesting to me. But apart from that, there are at least 10 good reasons to blog.

I will continue to blog about the things I find interesting and worth takling about, even if no one else does. I expect that 2005 will be very blogworthy indeed.

Blogging for a cause

Here is one of the latest examples of how blogging has allowed more people to at least try to make a difference: The Tsumani Help Blog, via MJ.

Feeding you this Skype

Skype is super cool.

Skype is "Internet Telephony that works".

Skype allows you to speak into your microphone and speak to someone in Australia and to be heard in a voice that is at least as clear as on the telephone, provided your sound settings and mike are half decent. This is IM to the next level. This is actually good software, better than IM. You hear the person's voice through the speakers. It's like webcamming without the video, that uses very little bandwidth and sounds really good. I like it, so I will promote it. Let's take down the phone companies, or at least have some fun talking on the computer.

Try it here.

Sex art

Porn Art 2, by Dahmane, featuring what I think is his wife, the almost-incomprehensibly attractive Chloe des Lysses, is possibly the greatest new series of photographs that depict porn-style sex in an incredibly...credible, way. Sometimes even in a mundane way. I have seen some of these photos on the net, although they are currently pretty hard to find. I would definitely like to have some of Dahmane's work in book form, though. Amazon has it for the low, low price of...$875??? I'm sure you can get it cheaper.

Here is a link to a supercool music video. The George Bush guy looks a lot like the real thing at times. Is this burlesque queen Dita von Teese?

Religious zealot destroys 1000-year-old artifact: too sexy

Some ignorant asshole destroyed a very old, apparently pagan artifact because he couldn't stand that it showed sex so blatantly. It offended his sensibilities. He probably didn't know how old it was, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did. I hate these kinds of dickwads. Someone should kick his ass, let him recover, then kick his ass again a few times.

The world's only realist child prodigy

There have been many child prodigies in the history of the world. Many of them fade into obscurity, others have early and tragic ends while others go on to setting the world on fire in other ways.

This one, called Akiane Kramarik, is ten years old according to her birth certificate. But if you saw her and looked at what she can produce, you might question your belief in reincarnation if you didn't believe in it, and have your beliefs strongly reinforced if you did. She doesn't look like she is ten. Definitely doesn't act her age. Ten-year-olds do not speak four languages, master realism (considered one of the most difficult art forms) and poetry. They do not write things such as:

Lost in the ocean I am with you
We both have sunk our oars
Are we ready for our boat to crash
Although our home is just a mile away
We sail in circles

When you hold me I see your childhood
On its veil the map shows where to turn
I hold onto your wrinkles
So I would not fall into the ocean
One wave is a journey

And they do not paint things like the woman above when they are 8.

To me, she is the type of person that the religious and non-religious alike would hold up as no less than a model and hope for the world. Perhaps the greatest thing about her is her apparent humility, sensitivity and purity. I truly hope that nothing happens to her; it seems almost scripted that people like this are taken from the world far too soon, while we are left with greedy power-mongers and the slack-jawed masses (that includes me).

If you ever get a chance to see her work first-hand, don't miss it.

BitTorrent soldiers down

From a friend: The legendary Suprnova is gone, an apparent victim of the MPAA's lawyers. Read the story here.

According to my sources, many sites have died recently, but these ones have not:

Loki Torrent
Digital Distractions
BTEFNet
Bi-Torrent
Demonoid Torrents
Torrent Reactor
Filesoup, after sifting through the dead links.

Japanese train perverts

I don't normally like sex segregation, but I think I can back women's only subway/train cars in Japan. From The Times Online:

A YEAR-LONG national campaign against bottom-pinching in Japan has failed, with nearly two thirds of young women saying that they have been groped on trains or at railway stations.

Yes, I am abusing stylesheets and blockquote tags.

Honestly, I thought that this was only in Japanese porn. I thought that it was staged, like all the gonzo reality porn that you see. Or maybe a lifestyle thing (I know these people aren't necessarily into subway groping of each other, but I'm sure they will get there soon. Seems related on a consensual basis.) 64% of women in their 20s and 30s? And there are even gangs of sukebe that swarm trains and grope women mercilessly (as if you could do it mercifully, hmmm).

Of course, this leads to the conviction of innocent people. These trains are packed to 200% capacity at peak hours. I can't see how you can avoid touching someone else, so occasionally it is almost inevitable that your hand will brush against some woman. I've even done it accidentally in Montreal, and it's been done to me. There's generally an obvious difference between this and an overt cop-a-feel, though, but because of these assholes on the train, innocent fucks will get publically branded as perverts and sentenced, while they and their sukebe brethren will get away scot free.

Sometimes I think about going to Japan and watching them shit themselves when I talk loudly. I imagine some hip young 20-something that thinks he knows English (and me, based on my skin colour) talking to me like I was in Tokyo Breakfast (if you haven't seen this, please watch it, it's killer funny). I'd like to retort in perfect Japanese, telling him to go fuck himself.

Who am I kidding? I'd never go to that damn place.

Baby cut from womb; mother left for dead

And the mother indeed died. The girl is is good health, though. What kind of desperation for a child causes you to murder someone and cut the baby out of the body?

Agents who made the arrest said Montgomery had told her husband that she had unexpectedly given birth.

I guess she never told her husband about the miscarriage she recently had. It's the only way I can imagine this stiory working, unless the people involved are stupid or simply accepting of someone's apparent grief over the miscarriage.

Much better, though, is this story of a woman who was told that she lost her 10-day-old baby girl in a fire. Authorities concluded that the baby was completely consumed by the fire, which is why they never found a body, or the baby's burned clothes (although bone fragments were found that were later shown to be nonhuman). Weeks later, the neighbours moved away.

In January, she attended a birthday party for the child of an acquaintance and was struck by the resemblance of a 6-year-old girl to herself and her other children.

Telling the girl she had bubble gum in her hair, Cuevas was able to take strands of her hair in hopes a DNA test would prove she was right, according to Philadelphia police Lt. Michael Boyle of the special victims unit.

Well, she was right. The neighbour set fire to the house, stole the baby and moved away. Rivaling the depravity and apparent desperation involved to do this is the fact that the baby was declared killed, and forensic evidence suggests that there must have been something odd going on. For the baby to be so consumed, it would have had to be in an incinerator for a while, not for 15 minutes at regular fire temperatures. The baby was missing. Seems fishy, or at least incompetent to me.

I can't help but wonder whether or not a proper investigation would have been done if the woman were white. This kind of thing happens too often to non-white and poorer groups for me to think that this is just an unfortunate incident.

Cock science

From sexblo.gs: Length-boosting surgery for micropenises. The description of the procedure makes me want to cry. Has anyone actually encountered this unfortunate phenomenon? I have heard of women actually erupting in laughter at the sight of a new man penis. I can imagine gasping in shock at seeing something that a woman might have (which, I suppose can be just as bad as laughing out loud), but I can't imagine laughing out loud at a woman's parts.

And what if you are 7.5 cm? You don't even have a medical condition. You just have a small cock. Seems even more unfair. And the more women I talk to, the more it seems that cock size really, REALLY does matter.

Within a decade, they will be growing cocks in labs. "But he says it will be closer to 10 years before a fully-functional tissue engineered penis is grown in the lab and attached to a man or child." Can you imagine a mistake happening where a boy gets a man cock? Or the other way? It'll happen, I'm positive.

UPDATE: The notify said: "If you are reading this, there may be hope for you." I meant, "If you are reading this and you have micropenis, there may be hope for you." Otherwise, I suppose you are hopeless.

More cuddly, plushy body parts

The inventors of the boyfriend arm pillow have invented the girlfriend arm pillow, which "can be used as a replacement for a mother, grandmother, wife, and of course a girlfriend." )Not to be confused with the girlfriend lap pillow.) Is this just weird, or a natural byproduct of the kind of world we (or at the those fucking weird Japanese people) live in? I suppose we have all kinds of things to comfort us and make us feel better, so this should come as much of a surprise.

Go Crow!

As my friend who found this link says: "You cannot deny the purpose in its actions, I mean I know people who are not this smart." Indeed.

Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.

Simply, a great opening line to a bad novel. I laughed for 30 seconds straight.

Deleted website

If you got the message
Not Found
The requested URL / was not found on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
Apache/1.3.33 Server at www.cheeseorgy.net Port 80
this morning while trying to access this site, it's because I accidentally deleted the entire website. All of it. thankfully, thanks to the Wired Hub geniuses that backed everything up, it's all back up and running.

That being said, the cpanel file manager is dangerous and should never be used. Ever.

Idiots in the Army

This isn't a "gesture of love". It's stupid.

Oh, now it makes sense. She's his soulmate.

Now that he's lost his finger, how's he going to wear a ring?

Porn = heroin

Did I say crack cocaine? I meant heroin.

Corporate crabs

I have no clue if this is real.

Right now, 30 percent of all hermit crabs on our shorelines are living in shells that are too small for them. In the springtime, when the animal has its growth spurt, this shortage skyrockets to 60 percent. Hermit crabs, whose own bodies provide only thin exoskeletons, must scavenge and appropriate hard-walled shells abandoned by marine gastropods for shelter. The problem is that there currently are not enough shells left on our beaches for hermit crabs to use. This situation is not only uncomfortable but dire.

What they propose to do is to litter shorelines with plastic shells to us as homes for hermit crabs. They talk about "housing" like they're people! The best part is

The project is currently soliciting corporate and commercial sponsorship to fund manufacturing and distribution costs by licensing the houses for advertising. In exchange for financial support, each plastic shelter may be readily produced bearing a corporate logo.

Imagine: little hermit crabs walking around the beach with Intel or AOL logos on their backs. Is nothing not for sale?

Porn actress Lea de Mae dies

Porn actress Lea de Mae died last week of a rare form of brain cancer. You may not give a shit, but she was a performer, and a well-liked one at that. Her memorial page is rather sad.

I personally found her to be a good performer, not particularly annoying and an all around trouper (sp?). Very cute, and seemed fairly down to earth. All of that could have been bullshit as far as I know, but that's how she appeared to me in the few non-porn things I saw her in. Too bad for the industry, and for fans.

It's about time that you saw this my way

I meant to write about this last month, but I never got around to it, like so many other things I wanted to post.

We all know that round asses and low-rider jeans are in (and I've known it for a particularly long time), but it's still funny to think that they mannequin makers are responding to this particular consumer trend by making big-assed dummies. I , for one, welcome the new mannequins. I like to see different kinds of female shapes that I like represented as the Thing That You Need To Look Like. but seriously, it's good that curves are even more "mainstream" if you will, than before.

"J.Lo was the first to stress that women shouldn't be afraid to show their curves, and the popularity of rap made that shape more acceptable," said Critchfield. "And it is about these low-riding jeans looking good on a sexy, tight fit."

And they say that rap has misogynist lyrics! It's just praise of the big bootay. As I like to say, "Si c'est rond, c'est bon!"*

They say that the undernourished model waif look is out. I am not so sure of that. What do you think?

* - That being said, the emphasis for me is on roundness, not size. Round is always better than flat/misshapen, no matter what the size.

Comments available again

Sorry for the inconvenience.

"Well, you know, it was a crazy day..."

Psychobitch To do List:

• Get tampons.
  
• Ignore and disparage grandparents.
  
• Go to the mall.
  
• Pick up girlfriend. Have sex with her.
  
• Go home and kill grandparents.
  
• Get their keys, money and jewelry.
  
• Go to beach house and PAR-TAY.
  

I really don't need any further proof that women and young people are dangerous, too. At least it's equal opportunity.

I want my packets, and I want them now!

Apparently, Shaw Cable is censoring Internet feeds to its customers and lying about it, although the jury is still out as to whether or not this is true. Has anyone heard anything lately? I don't quite feel like going through 3000 Boingboing entries and trackbacks just now.

Made in Montreal

Possibly the coolest site about Montreal ever. If you ever want to visit this place without leaving your computer, or if you want to know EXACTLY what to do when you are here, or even if you simply want to discover something you didn't know about your city, this site (VERY FLASH heavy) is for you. Every major city needs a site like this. The ones responsible should be neck deep in these projects in my opinion.