July 28, 2005

Bugs as pets

I want one. And I'd be sad when it died.

Posted by JonasParker at 11:05 AM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2005

Android woman

Guess where she was made? Japan, of course. It's only a matter of time before they will install them in love hotels and brothels all over the country. I wonder what the moral issues will be with that. On the one hand, it's like fucking a really awesome blow-up doll. On the other hand, it could be so real that it would be very much like having sex with a real person, leaving human partners out in the cold.

Anyway, besides sex and dangerous work, what good are these things, anyway? Babysitters? Receptionists? Great toys? Hmmm.

Posted by JonasParker at 10:52 AM | Comments (1)

July 25, 2005

Pink dollars

As featured on David Letterman's Top Ten last Friday, the new Norwegian Gay Soda. (An excellent #1, by the way.) Reminds me of SNL's Schmitt's Gay many years back featuring Adam Sandler and the late Chris Farley. (I think the voice over was Phil Hartman.)

Anyway, all this gay merchandise means pure profits! They say that the gay market is still virtually untapped. Just imagine: Gay watches. Gay kitchenware. Lesbian chairs. Lesbian liquor! Lick her. Maybe that was a little easy, but not as easy as gay fruit. Genetically-modified gay fruit. I don't know what thay could possibly mean, but that's money, baby. Transgendered tea! Like Lady Earl Grey tea from Twinings. Enhanced gay gerbils, now with more wriggle!

Just make ordinary products and slap a gay label on them! I feel rich already! I wonder if I'll have to "come out" in order to maintain credibility among my victims suckers customers.

Posted by JonasParker at 10:42 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2005

Knock, knock! Who's Bear?

A bear has figured out how to get people's food into its stomach: just knock on the door and walk in! Imagine! Someone knocks, you open the door and a bear just walks in "as if it was the most normal thing in the world".

Another reason to distrust strangers.

Posted by JonasParker at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)